Saturday, October 19, 2013

E aí Fuddão

Today I'm not going to complain about anything.  I'm just going to tell you a story about my rabbit, Fudd.  Since my last post, I've lost two bunnies.  Quélin, our daughter-rabbit whom we've had since soon after we got married, died of old age in September of 2012.  Patrícia and I were devestated.  After a few months though, at Christmas of 2012, my sister asked me if I wanted another bunny.  "No.  Not yet, too soon."  Her boss was giving one away, so it'd be like a "rescue bunny".  Patrícia and I talked about it, and finally decided we'd take it, only if it's a female or a neutered male.  We were told it was a female.  So on January 12th, Fudd came to live with us.

We used to let her out of the cage at first, but she'd go to the bathroom everywhere.  So we kept her in the cage most of the time.  Then spring came, so I'd let Fudd outside in the back yard so she can go to the bathroom everywhere outside, which she took full advantage of!  We were noticing though, that Fudd has some male "tendencies."  Turns out HE was a male, and un-neutered, so all the peeing in the house was him marking his territory.

One day in the backyard, while I was cleaning out his cage, he tried to mount my friend's dog.  That confirmed it, he was a male...  In Portuguese, "fodão" is a ladies' man, so that's where his nickname "Fuddão" comes from.  E aí (in the title) just means "what's up."

I used to watch him like a hawk in the backyard, fearing he'd escape into the hedge, or under the fence, until one time he did just that.  He went behind our garden shed into the neighbour's back yard.  I kept calling him, worried that he was gone forever.  He wasn't coming back, so I went into the house to get my jacket to go look for him, but when I came back outside, he was back in the backyard, looking at me with an expression like, "What?  Is something wrong?"  After that, I figured that if he knows where he lives, I wouldn't have to watch him so closely when I let him out.  And he seemed to know too, when he heard my voice calling him, he would appear from somewhere to let me know he was OK and then run away into the woods again. 

One day, my neighbour came over, and said, "Peter, your rabbit escaped and is on the lawn three houses down the street!"  I pretended to be worried, and asked him what the rabbit was doing.  Then he sort of laughed and said, "He's chasing a cat."  15 minutes later, Fudd came home. 

A few weeks later, another neighbour came over to tell me that while walking about a block away, she saw the rabbit and thought he was trapped.  I got on my bike and went where she saw him, and after about 20 minutes of looking and calling his name, I gave up and came home.  He was lying under the stairs at the back door. 

Another time, while I was in the backyard and Fudd was out exploring, I heard a dog barking hysterically all of a sudden, then 30 seconds later Fudd came storming into the backyard at about 100 miles an hour.  He was a shit disturber!  He probably went up to a dog that was tied up and taunted it.

When I would leave for work at 7am, Fudd would always be gnawing on his cage "asking" me to go outside.  Friday, September 6th was the same.  Fudd chewing on the cage begging me for the freedom of the backyard (and 10 backyards of the neighbourhood) and I said, "Not yet Fudd.  I'll let you out when I get home today."  I let him out that evening, but he didn't scramble down the stairs and into the wilderness like usual.  He just sat right beside me.  Then I noticed a little hole in his ear.  He was bit or stung by something that day.  We put disinfectant on his ear that evening, but unfortunately, he didn't make it through the night.  The ironic part is, out in the backyard(s), there were many dangers that could've killed him, but he died in his cage.

This story is to let you know how much the rabbit meant to me.  He made me laugh, he was loyal, he was smart.  Sure I only had him for 8 months, but it was a fun 8 months.  He left too soon.  He was only 3 1/2.


Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Redskins

Did you hear about this dispute with a football team in Ottawa called the Redskins? Some natives are claiming that the name is racist. I am not one to say, but I have heard stories from natives in the area that want the name changed and ones that don't and think this whole issue is a cry for attention by the ones who claim to be offended.

For example, a Chief Whiteduck says he's proud of his heritage, and being "honoured" by a football team naming their team after his people is a compliment. Then, somebody on the other side (an Iroquois, I can't remember his name) says he remembers being called a "dirty Redskin" when he was a child.

Now MY take on the whole issue: When naming a team, you tend to go with a warrior, right? Lions, Tigers, Bears, etc... you don't hear wuss names like "the Ottawa Fluffy Bunnies" and stuff like that. When they were naming the team, they didn't think "ok, we'll call the team 'the Redskins', that'll teach those dirty indians." No, they thought the native warriors. Even if the people that want the name to change of the team, where would it stop? There's the Indians, Braves, Blackhawks, Seminoles. But what about Vikings? That might offend some Scandinavians. You have a college team, the Aztecs. The Saints and the Padres are bastardizing the biblical names. The Bucaneers might offend pirates. What about the Steel workers and the Steelers? The Giants could offend some little people. The Rangers offending guys on the ranch. Senators offending the government. The Rochester Americans? The Montreal Canadiens and Vancouver Canucks? You just offended everybody in North America right there.

Give it a rest.

beijos

Saturday, January 21, 2012

shopping carts

OK, this is kind of a stupid topic, but it still bugs me.  You know when you go to a store, and you have to put in a quarter for the cart?  I pay for everything with debit these days, but still, chances are I have a quarter in my pocket, so I get a cart.  The other day though, I was at Zellers, and I was there to buy an 18 kilogram box of cat litter (it's a good anti-slip for the ice on the driveway).  Anyway, since it's 18 kilos, I figured I should get a cart.  I had to insert a dollar though!  I didn't have a dollar on me, because I 'pay cash without carrying cash.' these days.  They should develop something on carts that you swipe your debit card and it puts a pending charge on your account until you return the cart.  Yeah, actually, that's a good idea... ok, if somebody actually invents this, remember where you got the idea!

beijos

Monday, December 19, 2011

Merry Christmas!

Hi,
It's that time of year again!  Yes, the time where we have that stupid "Happy Holidays - Merry Christmas" debate.  I've realized one thing over the years though - it has NOTHING to do with you or me.  Nothing to do with Jews. Nothing to do with Hindis. Nothing to do with Muslims or Sikhs or any other religion that may or may not celebrate Christmas.  It all has to do with these spineless boneheaded politians who don't want to "offend" anybody.

I have many Muslim friends.  I wish them all a Happy Eid after the month of Ramadan.  They say "thanks" and not "you too" because they know I don't celebrate Eid.  But they do wish me a Merry Christmas because they know that I do Christmas.  I say "thanks," not "you too".  My Jewish friends, I say "Happy Hanukkah", they say "Merry Christmas".  We don't say "you too", but "thanks"... see the pattern developing here?

OK, so say Merry Christmas really does offend people who don't celebrate it.  What about New Years?  The Chinese don't use the same calendar as we do - their New Year always about a month from ours, so should we start saying "Happy New Year Season?"  Because we don't want to exclude anyone, right?  Another "holiday" that excludes people is Valentine's Day.  What if you're single?  We don't want to exclude anyone, I think we should do away with it.  What about the Americans that live in Canada on July 1st?  Since their Independence is just a few days later, as to not offend anyone here, how about this: "Happy Independence Week."

Merry Christmas.

beijos

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Road Rage

Hi,
Driving these days is getting worse and worse.  More cars on the roads means more drivers that suck at driving.  The other day I was driving to work, and there was quite a bit of traffic, which is alright as long as the cars are actually moving.  The thing is that every time a space would open up between me and the guy in front of me, some moron would cut me off just to try to get a few car lengths ahead of where they were.

So I always thought the person with road rage is the person that's easily angered, the guy with the short fuse.  Come to think of it though, with all these idiot drivers out there, they can be blamed just as much or even moreso.  Even I, the most laid-back guy I know, get stressed out driving these days, and when I see morons driving, cutting me off and just driving badly, I want to get out of the car and beat the shit out of someone. 

beijos

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

resturants

Hey,
This won't be my usual hilarious post, 'cause I'm extremely annoyed about this last night.

Normally I don't name names of the places I complain about (OK, sometimes I do), but this is so infuriating that I will.  THE WELLINGTON DINER - NEVER GO THERE!  It's on Wellington near a street called Clarendon.  Let me tell you what happened last night: I was out with my wife, and she had some meeting nearby at 7:30.  After we ate, she left, and I figured I'd wait there for her, watch baseball and have a beer.  Now, as some of you know, I've had a cerebral hemorrhage years ago.  I never really talked about it before because I didn't want any special treatment - positive or negative - from others.  Then a few years ago I gave up on that, and I cut my hair short to reveal the scar on the back of my head, started to talk about it more, etc...

So the waitress named MARIA at the WELLINGTON DINER refused to serve me the beer I needed (yeah, needed) to watch baseball.  When I asked why (I figured maybe the keg was dry or something), she's like, "I think you've had enough."  The fucking bitch!  I was just there for a goddamn hour with my wife drinking water!  What the hell are you thinking!?  What basis do you have not to serve me?  Cause I was sorta weaving and slurring some words?  Guess what the side effects are for an operation like this?  Yeah, balance and speech problems!  So before you make these idiotic assumptions, get a fucking clue!  Besides, you know that old expression about assuming things: "Make yourself look like a bitch and humiliate others?"  Something like that...

beijos

Sunday, September 04, 2011

the dentist

Hi,

I went for a "cleaning" the other day, and they found a bunch of other problems and cavities that don't "need to be done right away, but if you leave it too long it's gonna cause a lot more problems..."  this happens in the auto shop too.  You probably all know that. 

Ever notice how they never do this at the doctor?  "Oh, you have migranes?  Take these.  Now leave."  I've had strep throat about 8 or 9 times over the years, and I go to the hospital/clinic, and they give me penicillin.  OK, great, it goes away.  But then 6 months down the road, strep throat again.  Clinic again.  Penicillin again.  See where this is going?  Penicillin's a band-aid.  I want a band-aid that I can put in my mouth or on the car.

The ironic part of this whole thing is that we were supposed to go to Toronto this weekend, so we brought the car in last month to make sure it was all good.  Well, with all the problems they found with it, and we had to spend so much that we couldn't even go to Toronto because of all the expenses.

beijos